Rachel McAdams Wore Versace and a Breast Pump for Her Latest Magazine Photo Shoot

Rachel McAdams has been keeping a low profile lately—in fact, she kept her recent pregnancy seriously under wraps, and has only just started to speak publicly about her 7-month-old son with boyfriend Jamie Linden. But in her latest fashion editorial, the actress is sending a message to new moms like her.

McAdams appears on the cover of Girls. Girls. Girls., photographed by Claire Rothstein, the magazine’s founder and editor. In the shoot, she’s wearing designers like Adam Selman, Cushnie, Bulgari… and, in one picture, Versace and a breast pump. The photographer shared the story behind that last look on her personal Instagram.

“Obviously #rachelmcadams looks incredible and was quite literally the dream to work with but also this shoot was about 6 months post her giving birth to her son, so between shots she was expressing/pumping as still breastfeeding,” Rothstein wrote in the caption. “We had a mutual appreciation disagreement about who’s idea it was to take this picture but I’m still sure it was hers which makes me love her even more.”

“Breastfeeding is the most normal thing in the world and I can’t for the life of me imagine why or how it is ever frowned upon or scared of,” Rothstein continued. “I don’t even think it needs explaining but just wanted to put this out there, as if it even changes one person’s perception of something so natural, so normal, so amazing then that’s great. Besides she’s wearing Versace and Bulgari diamonds and is just fucking major. Big shout out to all the girls.”

McAdams certainly does look amazing—and anything that helps make breastfeeding something everyone feels comfortable speaking about is a good thing. Since Rothstein shared the image and the story behind it, social media users have been praising the actress. “HELLO WORLD. THIS IS RACHEL MCADAMS BREAST PUMPING IN VERSACI AND BULGARI. I HAVE NEVER SCREAMED SO HARD IN MY LIFE,” one tweeted. Another called McAdams a “true queen” for pumping during her shoot.

McAdams told People that motherhood “the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, hands down.” She hasn’t shared much on the topic, but in this case, a picture is worth a thousand words.

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Penny Marshall Has Passed Away at 75 Years Old: A Look Back at Her Legacy

Penny Marshall, the legendary actress and director, has died at the age of 75.

Marshall first became a household name playing Laverne DeFazio on Laverne & Shirley, a show created by her older brother Garry Marshall, and appeared in various television shows and films over the years. But it’s her career as a director that will likely have the longest-lasting impact on not only Hollywood, but all of us who have loved her films.

“Our family is heartbroken over the passing of Penny Marshall,” a statement from her family read. “Penny was a tomboy who loved sports, doing puzzles of any kind, drinking milk and Pepsi together and being with her family. As an actress, her work on Laverne & Shirley broke ground featuring blue-collar women entertaining America in prime time. She was a comedic natural with a photographic memory and an instinct for slapstick. When Penny directed Tom Hanks in the movie Big she became a pioneer as the first woman in history to helm a film that grossed more than $100 million. She did it again with A League of Their Own. She directed many stars including Geena Davis, Robert De Niro, Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams, Madonna, Denzel Washington, Rosie O’Donnell and Whitney Houston. She even gave Mark Wahlberg his first acting job. Penny was a girl from the Bronx, who came out West, put a cursive ‘L’on her sweater and transformed herself into a Hollywood success story. We hope her life continues to inspire others to spend time with family, work hard and make all of their dreams come true.”

Below, we’ve rounded up some of the biggest moments in Marshall’s groundbreaking career.

Best Amazon Holiday Gift Ideas: Under $50

There is exactly one week left until Christmas which means if you’re like the rest of us, you’ve probably procrastinated getting a gift until the very last minute. Procrastination doesn’t have to be a bad thing though–if anything you’ve probably thought more about your gifts than people who bought theirs impulsively on Black Friday.

And this is 2018 after all and realistically we can order plenty of great presents online with two-day shipping, easy. An obvious place to start shopping for last minute gifts is Amazon. Even though they have everything, it isn’t exactly the sexiest place to shop for the holidays and the last thing you really want is for someone to assume you had to scramble for a gift and just bought it on Amazon because it came with prime shipping.

Thankfully there are plenty of great gifts on Amazon they’ll actually want–from one of the best Vitamin C serums on the market to an amazing beaded bag that’s very on trend to a travel book that’ll help anybody plan their next trip to Europe. See all the best gift ideas under $50 that you can find on Amazon below and trust us, there’s nothing last minute about them.

Stay-at-Home Mom Depression Is Real—and Women Are Finally Talking About It

Last week, an article on Today.com elicited a collective “THIS” from women across the web thanks to its frank take on an under-discussed but very real mental health challenge: stay-at-home mom depression. The essay—written by Megan Powell, the 32-year-old mother of five behind blog Momma’s Tired—nailed the day-to-day reality for many SAHMs: balancing the vast task of raising children and running a household while simultaneously fending off comments about how it must be so nice and relaxing to not have to go to work.

As a stay-at-home mom for 10 years and counting, I too felt a surge of vindication reading Powell’s essay. Not going to a traditional job every day in favor of full-time parenting is no walk in the park (as any mother or father who’s ever stayed home with the kids even for a day can imagine). Anyone willing to stand up and say that deserves a standing ovation from the one in five U.S. parents who stay home full-time (and, lets be honest, from the everyone else, too). But for some women, there exists a deeper sense of distress that can plague those whose daily routines revolve solely around the kids. “It’s like cabin fever after a few days, except it’s your life every day,” says Danielle Moeslein, a 30-year-old stay-at-home mom in Missouri.

Powell’s essay put a name to that panicky, helpless feeling that sets in when you start to believe that you exist only to help others exist. Or feel like you might want to be doing something more but can’t talk about it because you’re “lucky” to have the option of not working. Or when every small thing in your life feels like a struggle—from brushing your teeth (see: toddler climbing up your leg), to trying to cook a meal for yourself (oh wait, the baby is hungry right now and feeding her is more important), to even getting dressed (why bother?).

Just like postpartum depression may be triggered by external factors—a major life change, a shift in hormones—stay-at-home mom depression is often the result of big, often stressful changes in your life. “Stress exacerbates any condition, mental health or otherwise,” says Melinda Paige, PhD, a professor of clinical mental health counseling at Argosy University in Atlanta. And stay-at-home mom life is rife with triggers. Isolation, loss of purpose or identity and lack of social interaction can all play a role in the development of depression.

In other words, being home alone with demanding young children for what seems like an eternity may not always be the most ideal situation for prime mental health.

Despite all the strides we’ve made in talking about mental health, depression is still stigmatized as a personal failure. That pressure feels particularly frustrating for a lot of stay-at-home moms, myself included, who fall into the roles less by choice and more by circumstance. Moeslein, for instance, tells Glamour that she never planned to stay home, but after her son was born with medical complications as a result of a bladder condition, sending him to daycare wasn’t an option. She had no idea what she was getting into, but she didn’t have any other choice.

During her seven years as a SAHM, the mother of three struggles on and off with the same depression that plagued her in college. “As a mom, especially as a mom who stays at home and suffers from depression, you just don’t have that time to take care of yourself because you’re so busy taking care of your family,” she says. “You do it because you don’t have a choice.”

“I told myself that so many other women would kill to be home with their kids all day, so I bottled up my feelings in fear of seeming ungrateful.”

Even for women who never suffered from depression, the transition to at-home parent may be especially hard for mothers who had careers before having children. The loss of the identity and self-worth a woman’s career provided to her is a form of loss, which is a trigger, says Susan Silver, a psychotherapist in Illinois. “When we think about loss, we usually think about death or divorce, but any major change can be a source of depression.”

Complicating matters is the fact that depression is often overlooked among SAHMs because not going to work every day is viewed as a privileged choice. It’s lucky. That often means moms who struggle may feel like they don’t have the right to speak out. “I told myself that so many other women would kill to be home with their kids all day, so I bottled up my feelings for fear of seeming ungrateful,” says Pamela Gillett, 30, a former stay-at-home mom of two from Michigan, who went back to part-time to cope.

Compounding the pressure that many at-home moms put on themselves to not feel ungrateful is the message that if you’re at home and unhappy, you have only yourself to blame. Common advice given to at-home moms—get up early so you can have “me” time or exercise at home—send the message that if you only worked a little harder, you wouldn’t be so miserable.

“Women often don’t feel they deserve [help]. Or they think something is wrong with them and that they’ve failed in some way if they have to go to somebody else for help.”

At the height of some of my own depressive episodes as a SAHM, I can remember crying while pushing my daughter outside in her little baby swing, telling myself over and over that I should be happy just to be with her, or crying when, yet again, that I had to drag four little kids with me to get my teeth cleaned because finding a reliable sitter is not as easy as all of those “helpful” articles make it out to be. Not being able to voice my own misery or find the help that I knew I needed only served to make me feel like even more of a failure as a mom.

The reality is, the very structure of stay-at-home mothering can make a woman prone to depression even more susceptible. “As a person, you need conversation, you need human interaction, you need stimuli that as a SAHM you don’t get on a daily basis,” Moeslein says. “That’s something nobody talked to me about before I had kids.” Modern family dynamics are getting worse at supporting this, Silver says—extended family members like cousins are less likely to live nearby and grandparents are more likely to be working and living their own active lives. Those key forms of social communities once available to SAHMs aren’t always there anymore. The systemic struggles that SAHMs face are also a very real part of the problem—from the way we treat mothers postpartum (spend 15 minutes with a doctor checking in on your health after giving birth and hope that covers it!), to the lack of paid maternity leave. The message to moms is clear: you’re on your own, lady.

Over a quarter of all mothers in the U.S. don’t work outside the home, according to recent survey data—why has it taken so long to to acknowledge the mental health challenges we’re faced with?

Putting a name to the phenomenon of stay-at-home mom depression helps legitimize it. It’s a rallying cry for any mom who has ever felt this way. For 10 years, I have believed that I am just not “good” at being a SAHM. I’ve told myself, over and over, that while staying home may not be the best thing for me, it’s the best thing for our family right now—so I’d better learn to deal with it. I’ve convinced myself that all the other at-home moms out there are waking up excited about yet another day at home with kids, while I sometimes wake up wanting to cry.

I’m certainly not alone in this. “I always thought I was just having a bad day,” says Kara Collins, 31, a mom of four boys in Maryland. She’s tried medications and communicating more openly with her husband about her struggles but still feels like she’s living in “survival mode.” The term “stat-at-home mom depression” was new to her, but putting a name to the feelings she’s struggling with has helped her feel like she can start to move forward and face them. “I need to find my identity outside of motherhood,” Collins says. “I’m hoping to start a school program which I think will help me dig myself out of this darkness.”

Like Collins, most moms—working or not—are generally aware of what they should do to get the help they need, like talk to their doctor, socialize with other adults, and find interests that fulfill them. But whether they have the energy or ability to actually do those things is another story. “Women often don’t feel they deserve [help], or they think something is wrong with them and that they’ve failed in some way if they have to go to somebody else for help,” Silver says. But by being more open about how it is possible to struggle with stay-at-home depression and love your kids more than life itself, hopefully women and healthcare providers will be able to bridge the gap to help stay-at-home mothers feel more acknowledged and cared for in the future.

Simply hearing the term “stay-at-home mom depression” has helped me validate how I’ve felt over the past decade. It’s not me that’s the problem. Or my kids. Or even my partner not understanding. The truth is, there is a very real lack of knowledge about the realities of women staying home—especially those women who may already be prone to depression. For those of us in the trenches, we can help by being more honest about our own experiences, modeling truths for future generations of mothers, and being kind to ourselves as we figure out how make staying at home work better for everyone.

Photo: Getty Images

5 Secrets to Creating the Perfect Holiday Outfit, According to ‘Real Housewife’ Erika Jayne

Erika Jayne needs only one word to describe her dream holiday party outfit: sparkles. “I think you should be like a human Christmas tree and sparkle as much as possible,” she says. “This is a time when you can really sparkle. Holiday parties are meant for sparkles, liquor, and having a good time.”

If anyone knows how to dress for an event, it’s Erika: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star/dance club queen seems to always embody what only can only be described as a lewk, whether it’s for a black-tie charity function with husband Tom Girardi or for an on-stage performance. It was this latter side that I saw at Atlantic City’s Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa—during the roughly hour-long set, she changed four times by my count, each outfit more sparkly than the last. I grabbed a few minutes with Erika backstage to get her advice on how to channel all this extra-ness for the hardest season to dress for: the holidays.

“I really do think the holidays are a great time to pull out all the tricks,” she says. “You can have a lot of good personality and have fun. This is the season to have a good time. If you feel like sticking an ornament in your hair, do it!”

In terms of creating your holiday wish lists, Erika has some ideas: “Christmas, Hanukkah, the holiday season is the time you hit ’em up for the high-ticket items. That coat you’ve always wanted. That designer purse. Maybe that Louboutin shoe. Fill in the blank with whatever you want. Now is the time to get it because you’ve been a good girl all year long.” Copy that.

Ahead, Erika breaks down holiday party dressing, from color palettes to footwear choices. See and shop her advice.

25 Top-Selling Beauty Products on Amazon in 2018

Shopping on Amazon can either be the easiest thing ever or extremely frustrating. Generally, it helps to head to the site with a list in mind, rather than sifting through hundreds of pages and even more reviews. The retailer’s beauty section, however, is a much different story. Few reviews are as detailed and helpful—which makes the brand’s high-low mix of luxury, drugstore, and indie products a goldmine for discovery. It also makes narrowing down what’s worth trying much less complicated. When thousands of shoppers all agree on those five stars, you know it’s good stuff (at least most of the time). Such is the case for these 25 Amazon beauty finds—all top-sellers for 2018.

To make things even easier for you, we pressed the online retailer to share what flew off its virtual shelves in every category: hair, makeup, skin care, tools, and nails. Scroll on down to see how many you already have, and of course, how many more you need.

Meghan Markle’s Best Maternity Fashion Moments

As we entered 2018, it felt like the buzz around Meghan Markle‘s royal style couldn’t get any louder. That is, until Kensington Palace made the announcement: The Duchess of Sussex is expecting her first child, due in spring 2019. Even before that, though, rumors surrounding her pregnancy were intensified precisely because of her fashion choices. (People started speculating about the coat Markle wore to Princess Eugenie’s wedding and whether it was meant to hide a baby bump.) Now, all eyes are on her approach to official maternity fashion—and whether it’ll be as “rule-breaking” as her regular wardrobe.

Like Kate Middleton before her, Markle has adopted an approach to maternity dressing that’s true to her personality—and incredibly polished. Since the news broke in October, the Duchess has stepped out wearing everything from simple ASOS sheath dresses to bespoke Givenchy. All the while, she’s kept true to her personal style signatures such as delicate stacking rings, sequined halter tops and slitted skirts.

The next several months are, presumably, set to be a parade of inspiring maternity looks courtesy of the Duchess of Sussex, so we’ll be rounding up up her best outfits until Baby Sussex makes its grand entrance. Check out our favorites, ahead.

10 Best Winter Nail Polish Colors for 2018

One of the best things about winter—right behind the holiday sales, the festive bags, and layers of cozy fabric we’ll cocoon in from now until March—is the fun that comes with swapping the bright shades we’ve had in rotation for winter nail colors more evocative of sweater weather. We’re talking nail polishes that look good peeking out of an oversized knit or under a sparkly clutch. Essentially the mani equivalent of Mariah Carey’s All I Want, the joy they bring is instant. With that time of year upon us, we enlisted our editors to share the shades they can’t wait to wear this season. Ahead, the best winter nail colors they swear by.

ed a Mentor at Work

Any young professional woman has heard that to succeed (and especially to succeed fast) you need a mentor—someone who will show you the ropes and pave the way for your advancement. But the idea that a woman in the C-suite can teach you everything you need to know about your career and your future is right up there with believing Beyoncé is in the Illuminati. There’s no doubt that female leaders can be helpful (and we need more of them; only 5 percent of Fortune 500 companies have a female CEO). But virtually every career path today is much more complicated than the old up-the-ladder route; you need a village to navigate it all. “Modern mentorship isn’t about looking to just one person; it’s about cultivating a group of people,” says Sallie Krawcheck, CEO and cofounder of Ellevest, a digital investment platform for women. “They might be senior to you, your peer, or even your junior. They could be in your company, outside of it, male or female. Having a series of diverse perspectives is what helps you to succeed.”

New groups and technology are trying to help. OKReal brings together ambitious young women (both digitally and IRL) to problem-solve issues in the workplace from the pay gap to sexual harassment. Bumble’s Bizz mode lets you swipe to connect with powerful businesswomen (like Kris Jenner and Karlie Kloss). Women-focused workplaces like The Wing have networking baked into membership. And at Lean In circles, women gather wherever they live to swap advice and contacts. But if you don’t have access to these, or they aren’t right for your particular career, what to do? Start with these new approaches.

Stop looking for a full-service mentor

There’s no magic, one-stop adviser who’s going to transform your life and your career (this is a fallible human being we’re talking about, not a fairy godmother). So consider going for the specific advice you need. Shauna Duggins, the first woman to win an Emmy for stunt coordination, for her work on GLOW, has used that approach repeatedly. “I haven’t had one formal person who has been my mentor through my whole career,” she says. “Rather, I’ve had a handful of amazing men and women. I call them up and it’s like, ‘Hey, you’re great with a specific stunt, how do you visualize it with a comedy instead of a drama?’ You’re stronger as a team, no matter the industry.” Everyone has their own unique skill set—and blind spots. When Katie Sturino, founder of The 12ish Style and Megababe, was first starting out in public relations, “there was a woman in my field I was obsessed with,” she says. “I learned from her how to conduct myself in meetings and with clients, but I realized she didn’t have the best time-management skills. I’m still glad for what she taught me, but when it came time to balance my work and personal lives, I went to someone else.” Also, most people are aware they don’t know everything. So if you get into a mentoring groove with someone, it’s highly likely she’ll connect you with a colleague or someone else in her network who can help you with other skills you need.

Prepare, prepare, prepare

Some of the old mentoring rules of yore still apply, like needing to do your research. But there is a new way to have a leg up on this: social media. If you have a coffee date on the books with someone you admire, do some light digital stalking (emphasis on light). If she’s posting Instagram stories about a new initiative she’s launching, look into it. Or if she’s retweeting articles on a trending topic in your industry, make sure to read up.

Not only will these tidbits make for great conversation starters; they can also open up ways that you can potentially work together. This approach worked for ClassPass executive chairman and founder Payal Kadakia, who was thrilled when she landed one-on-one time with Zocdoc cofounder Cyrus Massoumi, who she knew would have the inside scoop on how to build a health-related tech business in New York. “I came prepared with specific questions on the challenges I was tackling with scaling the company, and he provided great guidance on how to combat early growing pains,” she says. The two hit it off so much that they’ve continued to help each other troubleshoot problems they’ve both faced in the health industry. “He became an adviser to ClassPass, and I signed on as an adviser to his new investment fund,” she says.

Coming prepared isn’t the only lesson to be learned from Kadakia; she also knew that you have to give to get. Find ways that you can also help the person who’s advising you, says Shark Tank judge and real estate pro Barbara Corcoran: “If they’re going to give you free advice, offer to help them with something you know you’re good at. Whether it’s social media, or whatever it may be, it will go a long way.”

Mix business and friendship

“I view mentorship like being on a basketball team, where people are working toward a common goal,” says Outdoor Voices founder Ty Haney, that goal being helping you succeed, no matter your dream. Haney’s team includes Audrey Gelman of The Wing and Glossier’s Emily Weiss. “We all founded millennial-focused start-ups, so there’s a lot of overlap in what we’re experiencing,” she says. “For example, I’ve called Emily for advice on building brick-and-mortar stores. Find the peers who are doing things you want to be doing, and see what they can teach you.”

Hillary Kerr, cofounder of Who What Wear, found the best mentorship from her coworkers during her early days in publishing. Today they’ve all left the industry but continue to go to one another for advice. “They not only taught me the ropes at work,” she says, “they became lifelong sounding boards. Now we’ve moved to different companies: Danielle Nussbaum is on the writing team for Casual, Susan Cernek is the director of marketing for David Zwirner’s [art gallery], and Jane Herman is the editorial director of Theory. We ask each other questions all the time, about everything from hiring to strategy, and their advice is invaluable.” So: Look to your left, then look to your right. See the people sitting on either side? Call them coworkers, call them friends, call them mentors.

Don’t assume mentoring has to be a formal thing…

If you work for a big organization or are a member of an industry group, you’ve probably seen emails advertising corporate mentorship initiatives. These matching programs have the potential to be helpful, but they can also be like a bad blind date. “When I was CFO of Citi, I was part of a formal mentoring program,” Krawcheck says. “My mentee was a perfectly nice young woman, and we met for a monthly breakfast. She’d ask questions, and then we’d spend the rest of the time staring at each other in awkward silence or small talk. Like any productive relationship, the best ones are definitely more organic.” You wouldn’t want to start off a friendship that required you to meet up for a drink once a week, no exceptions—so why would you want a mentor relationship with such strict rules? Instead Sutian Dong, partner at Female Founders Fund, thinks you should take a more natural approach. She recommends that you focus on building a relationship with a potential mentor. “It’s better when it’s not clearly labeled,” she says. Just commit to sharing advice as needed.

…or a time-consuming thing

When Fashionista deputy editor Tyler McCall was starting out, she collected some of her best wisdom on—wait for it—Twitter. “Before I got my first job,” she says, “I tweeted at Eva Chen [director of fashion partnerships at Instagram, then a Teen Vogue editor]: ‘I don’t live in NYC, but I’m afraid to move without a job. What should I do?’ She wrote back, ‘Fortune favors the bold.’ ” In mere seconds McCall got the advice she was looking for. McCall ultimately made the move from Florida and kept in touch with Chen. (Proof that gently inserting yourself into someone’s social media orbit can help lead to an IRL meet-up.)

If your question can’t be answered in 280 characters or fewer, and you need that precious one-on-one, make sure you’re being respectful of a mentor’s time. Remember, when you two are chatting, she’s not checking email, taking calls, or getting any other shit done for the duration. Christina Stembel, founder of Farmgirl Flowers, recently had a question for Julie Wainwright of The RealReal—and knew to keep it short and sweet. “I asked Julie if she could give me 15 minutes to talk about valuation,” she says. “When we spoke, I stayed on topic, and it took less time than I even thought. Ask for only 30 minutes of someone’s time, on a specific question, and they’ll almost always say yes—since they know what they’re saying yes to.”

Know this might not last (and that’s OK)

As with friends or romantic partners, sometimes mentoring relationships run their course. Take it from McCall, whose relationship with Chen evolved. “She went to work at Instagram and I kept working in fashion publishing, so it didn’t make sense to go to her for advice anymore,” she says. “Most human relationships are fluid, so when you get to a different point in your career, it’s totally fine to stop going to the same people.” If you feel you’ve maxed out on what you can learn from your mentor, ease up on the outreach, but keep in touch, says Brooklyn Decker, cofounder of Finery. “Just because the mentorship doesn’t work out doesn’t mean you can’t have a decent professional relationship,” she says. Because even if mentors come and go, the advice they give you lasts forever.

LEDE PHOTO: HANDSHAKE: KLAUS VEDFELT/GETTY IMAGES. FLOWERS: JANINA PIRES/EYEEM/GETTY IMAGES

It’s Time to Rethink How You Find a Mentor at Work

Any young professional woman has heard that to succeed (and especially to succeed fast) you need a mentor—someone who will show you the ropes and pave the way for your advancement. But the idea that a woman in the C-suite can teach you everything you need to know about your career and your future is right up there with believing Beyoncé is in the Illuminati. There’s no doubt that female leaders can be helpful (and we need more of them; only 5 percent of Fortune 500 companies have a female CEO). But virtually every career path today is much more complicated than the old up-the-ladder route; you need a village to navigate it all. “Modern mentorship isn’t about looking to just one person; it’s about cultivating a group of people,” says Sallie Krawcheck, CEO and cofounder of Ellevest, a digital investment platform for women. “They might be senior to you, your peer, or even your junior. They could be in your company, outside of it, male or female. Having a series of diverse perspectives is what helps you to succeed.”

New groups and technology are trying to help. OKReal brings together ambitious young women (both digitally and IRL) to problem-solve issues in the workplace from the pay gap to sexual harassment. Bumble’s Bizz mode lets you swipe to connect with powerful businesswomen (like Kris Jenner and Karlie Kloss). Women-focused workplaces like The Wing have networking baked into membership. And at Lean In circles, women gather wherever they live to swap advice and contacts. But if you don’t have access to these, or they aren’t right for your particular career, what to do? Start with these new approaches.

There’s no magic, one-stop adviser who’s going to transform your life and your career (this is a fallible human being we’re talking about, not a fairy godmother). So consider going for the specific advice you need. Shauna Duggins, the first woman to win an Emmy for stunt coordination, for her work on GLOW, has used that approach repeatedly. “I haven’t had one formal person who has been my mentor through my whole career,” she says. “Rather, I’ve had a handful of amazing men and women. I call them up and it’s like, ‘Hey, you’re great with a specific stunt, how do you visualize it with a comedy instead of a drama?’ You’re stronger as a team, no matter the industry.” Everyone has their own unique skill set—and blind spots. When Katie Sturino, founder of The 12ish Style and Megababe, was first starting out in public relations, “there was a woman in my field I was obsessed with,” she says. “I learned from her how to conduct myself in meetings and with clients, but I realized she didn’t have the best time-management skills. I’m still glad for what she taught me, but when it came time to balance my work and personal lives, I went to someone else.” Also, most people are aware they don’t know everything. So if you get into a mentoring groove with someone, it’s highly likely she’ll connect you with a colleague or someone else in her network who can help you with other skills you need.

Some of the old mentoring rules of yore still apply, like needing to do your research. But there is a new way to have a leg up on this: social media. If you have a coffee date on the books with someone you admire, do some light digital stalking (emphasis on light). If she’s posting Instagram stories about a new initiative she’s launching, look into it. Or if she’s retweeting articles on a trending topic in your industry, make sure to read up.

Not only will these tidbits make for great conversation starters; they can also open up ways that you can potentially work together. This approach worked for ClassPass executive chairman and founder Payal Kadakia, who was thrilled when she landed one-on-one time with Zocdoc cofounder Cyrus Massoumi, who she knew would have the inside scoop on how to build a health-related tech business in New York. “I came prepared with specific questions on the challenges I was tackling with scaling the company, and he provided great guidance on how to combat early growing pains,” she says. The two hit it off so much that they’ve continued to help each other troubleshoot problems they’ve both faced in the health industry. “He became an adviser to ClassPass, and I signed on as an adviser to his new investment fund,” she says.

Coming prepared isn’t the only lesson to be learned from Kadakia; she also knew that you have to give to get. Find ways that you can also help the person who’s advising you, says Shark Tank judge and real estate pro Barbara Corcoran: “If they’re going to give you free advice, offer to help them with something you know you’re good at. Whether it’s social media, or whatever it may be, it will go a long way.”

“I view mentorship like being on a basketball team, where people are working toward a common goal,” says Outdoor Voices founder Ty Haney, that goal being helping you succeed, no matter your dream. Haney’s team includes Audrey Gelman of The Wing and Glossier’s Emily Weiss. “We all founded millennial-focused start-ups, so there’s a lot of overlap in what we’re experiencing,” she says. “For example, I’ve called Emily for advice on building brick-and-mortar stores. Find the peers who are doing things you want to be doing, and see what they can teach you.”

Hillary Kerr, cofounder of Who What Wear, found the best mentorship from her coworkers during her early days in publishing. Today they’ve all left the industry but continue to go to one another for advice. “They not only taught me the ropes at work,” she says, “they became lifelong sounding boards. Now we’ve moved to different companies: Danielle Nussbaum is on the writing team for Casual, Susan Cernek is the director of marketing for David Zwirner’s [art gallery], and Jane Herman is the editorial director of Theory. We ask each other questions all the time, about everything from hiring to strategy, and their advice is invaluable.” So: Look to your left, then look to your right. See the people sitting on either side? Call them coworkers, call them friends, call them mentors.

If you work for a big organization or are a member of an industry group, you’ve probably seen emails advertising corporate mentorship initiatives. These matching programs have the potential to be helpful, but they can also be like a bad blind date. “When I was CFO of Citi, I was part of a formal mentoring program,” Krawcheck says. “My mentee was a perfectly nice young woman, and we met for a monthly breakfast. She’d ask questions, and then we’d spend the rest of the time staring at each other in awkward silence or small talk. Like any productive relationship, the best ones are definitely more organic.” You wouldn’t want to start off a friendship that required you to meet up for a drink once a week, no exceptions—so why would you want a mentor relationship with such strict rules? Instead Sutian Dong, partner at Female Founders Fund, thinks you should take a more natural approach. She recommends that you focus on building a relationship with a potential mentor. “It’s better when it’s not clearly labeled,” she says. Just commit to sharing advice as needed.

When Fashionista deputy editor Tyler McCall was starting out, she collected some of her best wisdom on—wait for it—Twitter. “Before I got my first job,” she says, “I tweeted at Eva Chen [director of fashion partnerships at Instagram, then a Teen Vogue editor]: ‘I don’t live in NYC, but I’m afraid to move without a job. What should I do?’ She wrote back, ‘Fortune favors the bold.’ ” In mere seconds McCall got the advice she was looking for. McCall ultimately made the move from Florida and kept in touch with Chen. (Proof that gently inserting yourself into someone’s social media orbit can help lead to an IRL meet-up.)

If your question can’t be answered in 280 characters or fewer, and you need that precious one-on-one, make sure you’re being respectful of a mentor’s time. Remember, when you two are chatting, she’s not checking email, taking calls, or getting any other shit done for the duration. Christina Stembel, founder of Farmgirl Flowers, recently had a question for Julie Wainwright of The RealReal—and knew to keep it short and sweet. “I asked Julie if she could give me 15 minutes to talk about valuation,” she says. “When we spoke, I stayed on topic, and it took less time than I even thought. Ask for only 30 minutes of someone’s time, on a specific question, and they’ll almost always say yes—since they know what they’re saying yes to.”

As with friends or romantic partners, sometimes mentoring relationships run their course. Take it from McCall, whose relationship with Chen evolved. “She went to work at Instagram and I kept working in fashion publishing, so it didn’t make sense to go to her for advice anymore,” she says. “Most human relationships are fluid, so when you get to a different point in your career, it’s totally fine to stop going to the same people.” If you feel you’ve maxed out on what you can learn from your mentor, ease up on the outreach, but keep in touch, says Brooklyn Decker, cofounder of Finery. “Just because the mentorship doesn’t work out doesn’t mean you can’t have a decent professional relationship,” she says. Because even if mentors come and go, the advice they give you lasts forever.

HANDSHAKE: KLAUS VEDFELT/GETTY IMAGES. FLOWERS: JANINA PIRES/EYEEM/GETTY IMAGES