PSA: Delayed Ejaculation Isn’t About You

Almost all the men I spoke with about DE talked about feeling nervous, dealing with anxiety or combatting shame—not a single one said that their inability to finish had anything to do with how attracted they were to their partner. One dude I spoke with said it always takes him forever to finish. In the process he gets so worried about hurting his partner that he gets too much into his head, which then made it even more impossible for him to finish. “Sex is absolutely impacted by mindset for men,” Gallop says. “Just the way women are impacted by it.”

I couldn’t have orgasms well into my 30s because I had a trauma I hadn’t dealt with. “Orgasm is about surrendering,” Skyler says. “With women, the vaginal walls will close down. Sometimes it’s guarding and protecting her from either the person in the room or from someone in her past.” I get this: I never trusted men enough to surrender, so it wasn’t until I dealt with my issues head on with specialists that I could finally let down both my vaginal and metaphoric walls.

It’s not just about some hidden sexual trauma or deep-seated phobia, however, Skyler adds. Something as commonplace as a fear of commitment can create a roadblock to orgasm. I was terrified of commitment until my 30s, which might explain why I never had a problem orgasming with a one-night stand but couldn’t seem to finish once a fling showed signs of turning into a relationship. It never occured to me that the men in my life might be having the same issue. With one old hookup, I used to have marathon sex (the kind that left me barely able to walk the next day), but once we became closer, he started to have issues with ejaculating inside me. At the time it baffled me, and I blamed myself. But now it makes sense—his body, like mine years ago, was saying a hard no to surrendering.

So What Do We Do About It?

All of the specialists I spoke with, as well as the men I interviewed, made one thing clear: A dude’s inability to finish is much more likely to be about him than it is about you.

So what’s to be done? Most men who struggle with delayed ejaculation can benefit from talking to a pro, Skyler says. “This is one of those issues they could explore on their own and if it’s a light issue, that can work. But I find that delayed ejaculation is one of the trickiest,” she says. “The body has to be retrained.”

When I told her about my striptease, she said my hookup’s behavior wasn’t all that strange. ”With DE, the [treatment] protocol is for a man to have sex, and when he’s close to having an orgasm, to pull out, then keep at it.” Eventually, she says, he’ll pair the two actions, making it easier for him to finish the old fashioned way.

When you’re in this situation with a partner, don’t internalize it or blame yourself: This is not a negative performance review. Instead, stop focusing on orgasm as the goal, Skyler says. “If we don’t make sex a performance and orgasm the goal, and instead enjoy it for the experience that it is,” she says, “then we don’t have the pressure and anxiety.”

In my last several years on Tinder, I have realized that a lot of men avoid in-person hookups. If I send them a sexy picture or engage in sexting, they’ll almost always stay home and masturbate instead of meeting up. I thought this was because they’re lazy (and some are!) or because my vagina can’t compete with their death grips, but that’s far too simplistic. Men are dealing with a lot of pressure, self-doubt, shame, fear and insecurities that get in their way—just like the rest of us.

Nick Jonas Paid the Sweetest Tribute to Priyanka Chopra One Year After Their First Date

It’s hard to believe that Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas have only been dating for a year. (A year!) So much has happened: Flirty Instagram activity evolved into a summer (and fall) of headline-grabbing dates, which turned into a Tiffany engagement ring, which became a wedding at a palace in Jodhpur, India—and just a few wedding receptions. And that was all in 2018! This year, the couple’s been popping up on date nights with the other power couple in their Fab Four (Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas), killing it with their Met Gala red carpet return, and making their Cannes debut with plenty of outfit changes in tow. It’s safe to say they’ve had a pretty busy past 365 days.

Today, Jonas took a minute to write a super-sweet tribute on Instagram to Chopra to make the one-year anniversary since their first date (which, no, wasn’t the 2017 Met Gala—although that was the first time they were spotted together publicly). It features a picture of the two of them wearing one of their coordinated Cannes looks, with Jonas dipping Chopra romantically in front of a balcony.

“One year ago today I went to go see Beauty and the Beast at the Hollywood bowl with a group of friends. One of those friends was the woman that would become my best friend, my confidant, my muse, my beautiful wife. I am so grateful for our journey together so far. You make me smile every day and you inspire me to be the best version of myself. I am honored to be your husband. I love you. ❤️ @priyankachopra,” Jonas wrote.

An hour after he posted it, Chopra seems to have noticed his tag: “The most amazing thing that ever happened to me is you. I love you babs.. 😍,” she replied.

Yep, it’s pretty adorable—but what about these two isn’t?

Taylor Swift Wore a $68 Free People Top and Gucci Sneakers on a Paris Date With Joe Alwyn

If there’s one thing Taylor Swift commits to while promoting new music, it’s the aesthetic she wears with it. With TS7‘s release looming on the horizon, the singer has doubled-down on a rainbow-brite, sparkle-laden look to tie in with her exclamation point-heavy sound. And Swift’s new personal dress codes even applies when she’s on rare date with boyfriend Joe Alwyn—at least, that’s what recent photographs of the couple suggests.

On Friday, the “Delicate” singer and Alwyn were seen walking in Paris, where she was set to perform on the finale of France’s edition of The Voice. (The two were last seen together ducking out of a BAFTAs afterparty in January.) On that occasion, she wore a Stella McCartney gown. This time around, her date outfit was both casual and a nod to her new aesthetic: Cue a long-sleeve top with rainbow tie-dye and jeans.

It didn’t take fans long to track down the credits for Swift’s outfit. Her top is Free People’s “Rainbow Wash Tee,” which costs $68 on the store’s website. She completed her off-duty look with Gucci sneakers and Ray-Bans sunglasses.

Good news for Swift style acolytes: Her top is still available in most sizes.

Free People

Rainbow Wash Tee

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Free People is to Taylor Swift what &OtherStories is to Meghan Markle: a wardrobe-staple brand. Swift wore the same dip-dye top on Instagram Stories while promoting her new song on May 14. Back in 2018, she wore an $88 dress by the brand for a date with Alwyn in London.

Her tie-dye top is just one installment in Swift’s sunny (and way more affordable) new wardrobe. When she began hinting new music was to come, Swift teased her new sound with $59 Urban Outfitters shorts and a floral top from her official fan store.

After all the black-on-black outfits in her reputation era (and the super-expensive designers she wore for it), I, personally, am here for Swift’s rainbow-brite moment.

Halie LeSavage is a contributing writer at Glamour. Follow her @halielesavage.

Princess Charlotte Officially Hit Another Royal Childhood Milestone

It’s a fact of royal fandom that everything is newsworthy when a royal child does it. Princess Charlotte turned 4? Give the people a photoshoot. Prince George has a new nickname? I’m overwhelmed by the cuteness. Archie Mountbatten-Windsor goes outside for a photo with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry? Cancel all my plans so I can stare at the pictures.

Well, another tidbit of royal childhood news for Princess Charlotte has arrived straight from Kensington Palace—and it’s bound to usher in even more heart-warming moments to distract us all come fall 2019.

Kensington Palace announced Friday (May 24) that Princess Charlotte is headed for another royal childhood milestone. Starting this September, she’ll join older brother Prince George for school at St. Thomas’s Battersea in Wandsworth, south London. The 4-year-old is moving up from Willcocks Nursery School, which she has attended since January 2018.

Prince William and Kate Middleton have yet to make a formal statement regarding Princess Charlotte’s enrollment, but it sounds like the school is excited to meet its next royal student. Its headmaster, Simon O’Malley, made a brief statement welcoming Princess Charlotte to the fold. “We are delighted that The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have decided that Princess Charlotte will join her elder brother, Prince George, at Thomas’s Battersea,” he said. “We greatly look forward to welcoming her and all of our new pupils to the school in September.”

What’s in store for Princess Charlotte when she starts school? There’s more to choose from than typical classroom studies: Prince George reportedly enjoys swimming and ballet lessons at school. It’s safe to say his sister will have a similar range of classes.

The news comes shortly after another sweet moment for the royal family. Last week, Prince William and Kate Middleton released a series of photos taken with their children at the Royal Horticultural Society’s Chelsea Flower Show.

Every glimpse we’ve seen of the royal family suggests that Charlotte and George are close as brother and sister can be; and the siblings that study together, stay together. I’m already anticipating all the photos of Prince William dropping the pair off at school in September—if it’s anything like Prince George’s reluctant first day, it’ll be adorable.

Halie LeSavage is a contributing writer at Glamour. Follow her @halielesavage.

‘Little Fires Everywhere’: Everything We Know So Far

More than a year after Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington shared that their production companies would team up on a TV series, the treatment that brought Sharp Objects and Big Little Lies to the small screen is finally coming for Celeste Ng‘s blockbuster novel Little Fires Everywhere. And across social media, Witherspoon and Washington have shared tiny hints about the forthcoming series, including a few peeks behind the scenes as the show takes shape. From what we can see so far, it’s going to be the next major installment in appointment TV.

The cast is only one table read into production so far, so there’s still a while to wait for its premiere. To tide you over until then, here’s everything we know so far about the sure-to-be blockbuster series.

The cast is stacked.

Witherspoon and Washington will headline the series as rival matriarchs of the Richardson and Warren families. Joshua Jackson will play alongside Witherspoon as her character’s husband. They’re not the only names to get excited about: Up-and-comers from hits like The Good Doctor and La La Land, including Rosemarie DeWitt, Jade Pettyjohn, Jordan Elsass, Gavin Lewis, and Lexi Underwood, will appear in the series.

It’s based on Celeste Ng’s bestselling novel. Little Fires Everywhere topped the bestseller list in 2017 shortly following its debut. It’s the kind of women-centric, multigenerational drama that begged for a TV adaptation. The novel follows two opposing families in Shaker Heights, Ohio: the Richardsons, an affluent family with four children, and the Warrens, a mother-daughter duo who struggle to get by. A unexpected friendship between the families’ children draws them together, but a custody battle for a Chinese-American baby threatens to tear them—and the entire town—apart.

The show won’t copy the book line for line, but Ng gave the adaptation her stamp of approval after a visit to the writers’ room last fall. “True to the characters and themes and plot, but with lots of new layers and some tweaks and twists,” she tweeted.

Production is officially underway—and Washington and Witherspoon play a huge role behind-the-scenes, too. Last week, Washington shared a peek at the cast’s first table read. “The Warrens and the Richardsons have reported for duty!” she wrote. “#LittleFiresEverywhere production is underway!:”

The cast isn’t the only aspect of the show powered by women: Washington and Witherspoon are also named as executive producers on the series.

The show will air on Hulu. Washington and Witherspoon secured the rights to Little Fires Everywhere back in 2018. It was shopped around to several streaming networks before finding a home at Hulu.

It’s slated for one season. The show will air eight episodes on Hulu, so, technically, it’s a miniseries. Big Little Lies started out that way too…and then we got a second season. So the story could go on.

A release date hasn’t been announced. The series is estimated to premiere in 2020, but an official schedule hasn’t been released yet. We’ll update this post with the official premiere date when it’s available.

Halie LeSavage is a contributing writer at Glamour. Follow her @halielesavage.

Taylor Swift Just Dropped Another Huge Hint About Her New Album Title

Fans who missed seeing Taylor Swift during her reclusive reputation era have a lot to celebrate in the time of her upcoming album, presently known as TS7. It seems like since dropping her glitter bomb single “ME!”, she’s given Swifties more juicy information to chew on—particularly, via interviews with “human journalists” filled with Easter Eggs about her release.

A soundbite from a Q&A earlier this week may have eliminated one giant question mark from the outstanding questions fans still have about TS7—and that’s what, exactly, she’s dubbing her new era. In an interview with The Independent, Swift hinted that the title of her new album has been hiding in plain sight in the lyrics and music video imagery for “ME!”.

The Independent asked Swift the question we all were wondering: “How many clues are there to the album title in the music video?” She responded: “I think you see it once and you hear it twice.”

Those two numbers were all fans needed to track down the potential title—and they didn’t have to reach that hard to find it after Swift’s quote hit the Internet. It seems that Swift was referring to the word “lover.”

The word immediately caught fans’ eyes (and Glamour‘s Christopher Rosa). In the music video, it’s seen after the second verse, written in cursive on a neon sign in the background.

Then, there’s the pre-chorus to the song, where the word appears twice. After both verses, Swift sings: “Baby doll when it comes to a lover/I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”

All signs point to “Lover” as the title of Swift’s seventh album, but it’s been part of her lexicon for several album cycles. She used to reference ill-fated paramours in 1989‘s “Blank Space:” “Got a long list of ex-lovers/They’ll tell you I’m insane.” It also appeared in songs about her boyfriend Joe Alwyn on reputation, including “Call It What You Want” and “…Ready For It?”

The title meshes with Swift’s apparent rose-colored outlook in TS7—and her habit for leaving clues for fans everywhere she can. In her cover story for Entertainment Weekly, where she confirmed that her next album is complete, she said she enjoys letting her fans play detective. “I love that they like the cryptic hint-dropping,” she said. “Because as long as they like it, I’ll keep doing it. It’s fun. It feels mischievous and playful.”

The clues are adding up: Reputation was all about warding off her haters, but in TS7, it seems like Swift’s only focused on her “Lover.”

Halie LeSavage is a contributing writer at Glamour. Follow her @halielesavage.

Coach Memorial Day Sale 2019: What to Buy

One thing most shoppers can probably agree on is that a Coach bag is a classic. For many, the brand’s classic wristlet was the first designer item they ever owned. A lot has changed since then but Coach’s leather bags and wallets are just as splurge worthy and now is the time to add another piece to your collection with their Memorial Day Sale.

Coach’s latest sale has up to 50 percent off shoes, watches, wallets, handbags, and more. It runs through Memorial Day, but you’ll want to hop on it ASAP because pieces are bound to sell out fast. We’re making it easier for you by doing a first pass of all the discounted goods.

Shop all our favorite picks from the brand’s Memorial Day Sale, below.

A New *Game of Thrones* Fan Theory Suggests Daenerys Is Still Alive

Warning: Major spoilers ahead!

Any Game of Thrones fan who, for the past eight years, has been rooting for Daenerys Targaryen to take the Iron Throne was left very disappointed after the finale last Sunday (May 19), when Jon Snow literally stabbed her in the heart while she was in his arms. (That’s not to say anything of the previous week’s episode, where she went full Mad Queen and left people more than a little upset). And although the close-up shot of the moment left virtually zero doubt that she was dead—and, you know, it was the series finale—Game of Thrones is a show known for its shocking plot twists. Needless to say, fans who are still a little bit in denial about the show’s ending—and Khaleesi’s fate, specifically—have come up with not one, but two theories about how the Mother of Dragons might still be alive. And honestly? They don’t not make sense.

Theory 1: Daenerys Is a Dragon Now

There’s a warg-centered theory that actually makes for some interesting reading, especially if you’ve gone through the Game of Thrones book series. In the prologue of A Dance With Dragons, wilding Varamyr gets killed but then—twist!—apparently comes to in the body of one of his wolves. “It is possible for the warg to live a type of second life, a much simpler life inside the mind of an animal he controls. In the second life, the skinchanger’s [warg’s] memory slowly fades until nothing of the man is left and only the beast remains,” the passage reads.

Yeah, sure, Bran is the only warg left that we know officially exists, but Dany’s brother Viserys—and a few other Targaryens—also claimed to be dragons. So it stands to reason that Khaleesi could have warged into Drogon. Side note: Maybe this is why Drogon just burnt the Iron Thone instead of frying Snow to a crisp, too?

Theory 2: Kinvara Resurrects Daenerys

OK, so remember Kinvara, all the way back from season six? She was a Red Priestess of the Lord of Light from Volantis. Tyrion and Varys wanted her to mount a good-PR campaign on Daenerys’ behalf (she’s a “liberator,” not a “conquerer”), but Kinvara was already on board and said she thought Dany was Azor Ahai, the Price Who Was Promised.

Now, skip ahead to the finale: King Bran’s people tell him that Daenerys’ Drogon was last spotted heading east, “towards Volantis,” and Bran was all in for using his Three-Eyed Raven sight to find Drogon. Fans think that means Drogon was bringing Khaleesi’s body to Volantis so Kinvara can resurrect her with the power of the Light. Hey, Melisandre did the same thing for Jon Snow, as did Thoros of Myr for Beric Dondarrion (more than once).

A Little More Potential Evidence

This past season, a fan of the show, or just a sadist, decided to leak the plot points for the last three episodes of the final season on Reddit. Everyone thought/hoped they were fake, but they were surprisingly accurate—like, to the point people thought the snitch had access to inside intel at HBO. Anyway, this person wrote that there was a post-credits scene featuring Dany that didn’t make the cut for the final episode. Whether this involved Dany getting resurrected over in Volantis or still just dead, we don’t know. But she was (apparently) supposed to be there!

As others point out, however, the show is usually good at dropping hints into episodes, if you just look hard enough for them—and surely with a twist this dramatic, the signs would be there. Or are these the signs? Drogon, for his part, is probably taking his mother back to Old Valyria, where Khaleesi was originally from. It’s hard to know for sure, but I gotta say, Daenerys did look pretty dead in her final scene. In any case, fans who wanted something more for Dany after all of that can take some small comfort knowing it might not be totally over for the Mother of Dragons—even if it’s only in their own epilogues for the show.

Nordstrom Memorial Day Sale 2019: Best Fashion Deals To Shop

If you have the time, going through dozens if not hundreds of pages of marked-down merchandise whenever your favorite store announces a sale can be very fun. But in the age of flash deals and end-of-season clear-outs, it can be hard to keep up—which means you might be missing out on some major savings. Luckily it’s Memorial Day Weekend and it’s nearly impossible to miss a sale because you already know where to look (including our list of the best sales to shop). But what actually is impossible is going through the thousands of pages of deals and deciding what’s really worth it.

Nordstrom’s Memorial Day sale is extra overwhelming because it’s their Half Yearly Sale with up to 50% off dresses, shoes and more until June 2. We did a first pass of all the dresses, jumpsuits, sandals, and other warm-weather essentials that are deeply discounted at the retailer right now so you can go straight for the good stuff. Ahead, shop the 18 best pieces on sale at Nordstrom’s Memorial Day Sale right now. Get ’em in your cart before the deal ends on June 2.

Best Swimsuits for Small Busts – How to Shop for Bathing Suits

It’s fitting that Paris Hilton dropped her latest single, “Best Friend’s Ass,” as I was writing about how difficult I find shopping for swimsuits. Bikini sets never fit me quite right. I was always—and still am—larger on the bottom than I am up top, which meant if a string bikini (the silhouette of the early aughts) fit across my butt, the accompanying triangles would sit like deflated balloons across my chest. (I remember illicitly mixing and matching swim separates in the store, hoping a salesperson wouldn’t notice. To them, I apologize.)

The thing is, I always thought my behind was the culprit, what prevented me from being able to wear whatever swimsuit was of the moment (like the Burberry bikini Beyonce wore in 2003, which I wanted so bad). I never considered that perhaps what’s up top—or rather, what isn’t—was kind of, maybe the real obstacle.

Let me confirm: Though I’m a size 34A, I do not want bigger boobs. I never have. What I have wanted, however, is the ability to wear whatever style of bathing suit I’d like, regardless of cup size. When it comes to swim bottoms, you can simply size up. The same cannot be said for tops: With so many different cuts—triangle, bandeau, halter, underwire, tankini—achieving the perfect fit requires a little more experimentation, trial and error, and even some expert advice.

Over the years I’ve found my old reliables: the backless one-piece that’s the ideal balance of skin and coverage; the ruched tankini that looks more like a shirt than a piece of swimwear; the teeniest, totally unlined scoop-neck that gets balanced out with an extra-high-waist bottom. But that doesn’t mean I’m satisfied. That’s why I talked to designer Roxana Salehoun; Sidway founder Sarah Sidway Godshaw; Solid & Striped design director Amelia Lindquist; and Lively CEO and founder Michelle Cordeiro Grant and director of retail Sam Foster. I wanted their expertise on achieving that perfect fit when you have small boobs. Here’s what they had to say.

Show off what you’ve got. First, it’s important to remember that having a small bust can be an asset (and, let’s be honest, way less of a pain to shop for than a DD+ cup). Instead of thinking about all the cups you can’t fill, consider all of the low-cut necklines and more revealing styles you can without feeling overexposed. Feel free to skip the underwire or padding, Cordeiro Grant and Foster say, if the support isn’t necessary. No longer does your first thought need to be How can I make my bust look larger? However, if that is the look you want to achieve…

Fake it till you make it. To give the illusion of larger breasts, pay close attention to gaping—it’s a sign you should size down, Cordeiro Grant and Foster say. Styles like a triangle, tie-front, or halter can make your bust appear bigger than it actually is. Adjustable straps help too.

Go up a cup size. If your aim is to add a little something extra, opt for the tried-and-true classic: the padded cup. But you don’t need to go overboard. Sidway Godshaw recommends trying light padding via a balconette style or tops that allow you to slide in and layer removable cups. That way, you can control how much you’re adding so it feels both comfortable and natural.

Ahead, shop the best swimsuits for small boobs for summer 2019.